


Butterfly

by Lionwings



Category: Free!
Genre: 1st person pov, Angst, I am still sorry, I'm so sorry, Kinda of a song fic, M/M, One-Sided Love, Rin Sousuke Ai and Momo are like mentioned once, This hurt me to write, angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4910980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionwings/pseuds/Lionwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sad short fic about about loss, unrequited love and not being able to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on the song, "Butterfly" by Christina Perri. I also want to take this time to apologize for how horrible the fic may be and, if on the off chance it isn't as bad as I think it is, how sad it may make you feel.

Did you know that it hurt, watching you walk away from me?

I know you didn’t do it on purpose. You were always smarter and braver than I was, and I knew that it was inevitable.

But that small part of me hoped that you wouldn’t. It hoped that you would feel the same about me as I did about you, and that feeling only grew in our last year of high school.

Once everyone was gone except for me and you, I thought that we would do nothing but grow closer. I thought that you would finally feel the same way as I did, and that we would be together forever. But you didn’t see what I felt, even though I was as obvious as I could be without saying the three words that I was so afraid to say.

I wish that I said them, when I still had the chance.

It started out small with you forgetting about our plans, or focusing too hard on your work that you wouldn’t see me standing next to you.

At first, I wasn’t that mad or sad about it. I understood. It was our last year of high school and the exams were finally coming. I got it. You needed to study. I needed to study too, so I thought nothing of it.

It was quiet, with Makoto and Haru gone to Tokyo; Rin in Australia and Ai and Momo too busy with their own business to bother talking to either of us. But I didn’t realize until you started drifting away that I didn’t really have many friends.

It was a very sad realization, and one that really made me sad and clingy.

I tried to cling to you and you didn’t realize that it was because I was lonely. You would whine and complain and tell me to let go, but you didn’t realize how much those words hurt me.

I may seem perpetually happy and mischievous, but it was really a front. One that I hoped that you saw past long ago, but it turns out that I was mistaken, and that you were never really as observant of me as I was of you.

I don’t doubt your love for me, as a friend. You were a great friend: perceptive, caring, and unusually diligent about making sure I take care of myself. But that was only when you were actually looking.

When you finally told me that you were going to America for University, I was devastated. I hid behind a happy smile and a cheery yell and you didn’t even notice.

I was happy for you, so happy that you could achieve your dream.

But I always thought that you would bring me with you.

Not that you would drag me along behind you, but would help me stand on the same level that you were on. That we would walk together hand in hand, not with me falling behind so far that I could never catch up to you.

But you were so happy, and I wouldn’t bring down your happiness for my own. You are too important to me for me to ever make you sad.

I was lucky you never noticed.

It wasn’t until the day your plane left, I was waiting with Haru and Makoto, who had both come back to say goodbye.

I knew that I would be teary eyed, but knew that Makoto would be just as bad as I would be. You passed by each of us, giving Haru and Makoto hugs as they smiled and wished you luck, but when you stood in front of me, I couldn’t do it.

Your eyes were already misty and your smile was sad, and it made my heart twinge.

I grabbed you and pulled you into a tight hug, trying to relish every moment I got. You put your arms around me and whispered a small, “goodbye.”

I couldn’t take it.

I pulled myself from your arms and ran away.

I was a coward and I didn’t turn around as I heard you calling my name. I didn’t turn as I heard someone’s footsteps following my own, and I didn’t stop until I was out of the airport and couldn’t hear anyone following me anymore.

And I cried big wet tears that ran down my face and dripped onto the ground. I could see your flight leaving and I knew that, no matter how worried you might have been about me, you would be on it.

I stayed there until Makoto and Haru found me maybe an hour later, and once they did Makoto swept me up into a big hug and let me cry once more onto his shoulder. Haru rubbed by back soothingly and helped Makoto take me back to the car.

It took me a long time to stop crying about you.

But I knew that I should probably move on and forget about my feelings. I knew that I should let you fly free, like a butterfly on the wind. But some selfish stupid part of my heart never gave up.

I know you’ll never feel the same way as I do, but I want you to know one thing.

I’ll always love you, Rei-chan.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY SORRY SORRY!


End file.
